Friday, July 8, 2011

Devon Disaster.


This atrocity you are looking at on your screen is Sam from Devon. You know, I've always hated that town. The most hick-like people, trashy houses that face the side of a giant cliff in which most people who live there should go and fall off of in my opinion, and cold-ass fucking weather. (Yes, I have been there before) This is an old picture of Sam I got off her nexopia account since her facebook is entirely private. But she's still a fat cake-face either way. And doesn't look much better now to be honest.

I have always hated Sam even though I've never met her. To be honest, this girl was where a lot of my jealousy issues even came from. The way she had talked to Andy on facebook was overly-flirtatious and usually had sexual undermining content. Or maybe it was just a bunch of useless and unnecessary crap to get a rise out of either him or maybe even myself. "I like your bum, it's cute, it's mine can I grab it? Imma grab your bum next time I see you." -- inappropriate and unnecessary to be posting on a TAKEN guy's facebook profile.

For the longest time I never knew exactly why I hated Sam. I couldn't exactly pick out anything between her nasty caked-on make up and fake eyelashes, and stupid garbage she wrote on Andy's facebook all the time. Then one day while driving back from the actual town of Devon, while doing our regular spring phone-book delivery, he brought up the idea of doing the phonebooks by himself the next day. I refused to let him do that as I said I wouldn't have him driving up to Sam's house to get her to "help him with directions around Devon" and "hangout". He then asked me why I hated her so much, and after it being so long since I even really thought about it I even in fact stated I did not even care about the bitch anymore. But then a rather interesting story came out of Andy's mouth.

Apparently this chick was brought to Andy right before him and I had actually met, in person, by a couple of his friends. They thought they'd be a good match. So he went out on a date with her. And turned her down because he liked me more, obviously. But he told me she was really mad at him and upset over it....I don't think she wanted to give up yet. Sorry Sam. You just might have had a good chance of NOT showing up in my blog, except that little bit of information got leaked, so...sorry honey.

The funny thing is is that the entire time I've hated this bitch I never even knew that his friends thought she was a better match for Andy, I didn't know anything about this blind date but I just hated her anyway. One time I even told Andy when he was picking her up that I hope they got in a car crash that'd leave Andy unharmed but do some physical damage to her...later on that month when I was up visiting Andy he told me that she actually got into a car crash. He told me not to laugh and that it wasn't funny. Maybe I wasn't even making light of her misfortunes, but laughing over the fact that when it comes to this chick..I'm right about absolutely everything. Why do you think I don't take anyone seriously when they scream at me over the fact that she "doesn't want Andy in that way"... Give me a break, I have been right about every single thing with this chick. I am that amazing.

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